Let's Drop the Masks..Shall We?
In all of my work with women and in my own personal journey there seems to be this inner battle between "I just want to be seen" (for who I am) and I want to hide who I am and be invisible. It can be a constant battle. Most of the desire to be invisible is rooted in childhood history where it is safer to be invisible and not stand out. For some, it truly was a survival and protection mechanism. And I can say without a doubt that there is a light and a shadow side to both visibility and invisibility. And like most paradoxes there is a time and place, and a component of BOTH/AND. That is why we are now seeing there is no clear line between being and introvert and extrovert (just like there is no clear line between right and left brain..but that is another article). Every single one of us needs to be wrapped up in our own cocoons every once in a while, no matter how extroverted we are. And every one of us (especially business owners) needs to be visible every once and a while and SHOW UP for those we are meant to share our our gifts with, no matter how introverted we are. Because most introverts I know, also have a deep desire to serve and make an impact. So how do we show up, and how do we know when to retreat and be in the mystery? Well the first thing I can tell you is:
It is safe to drop the masks.
In fact, as challenging as it may be; dropping the masks, discovering your essences and showing them to the world is the safest and most aligned place to be. When you do, you know without a doubt that the people who choose to be around you (yes it is their choice and you can't force that) love you for who you truly are and not the person you show up as when you are wearing the mask, OR being invisible and not showing any of your true essences. Doesn't showing up as you actually are in any given moment (which can change) and loving yourself first, and seeing who is surrounding you and loving you feel so much more free and light, and fluid? And you are now an adult and safe to do so, and you are at choice to stand in your sovereignty and not be around people who don't love and see you for who you actually are.
And I want to be clear, when I say we are wearing masks, I don't mean someone is being fake or inauthentic, but that they are not shining a light on their essences or their souls. Or for us extroverts, maybe we are showing up in some way that is not ours to show up as. By taking external stories of how we should look, be, do or act in order to be successful, and its what we think we are or the roles we play that we begin to over-identify with. And we al have roles we fill, (mother, daughter, auntie, wife, partner, business owner, healer...all the things) but they are just roles. They are not who we are at our essences, those are just the parts of life we have chosen to play. But it is much more fun to show up to those roles in our true essences, shining a light on who we really are, and at the same time being in our roles that we hav e chosen in this lifetime (and yes you did choose them).
And as I said there is a shadow side to visibility and invisibility. Being visible all the time means we are often showing up even when we want to retreat, be in our own creative cocoon, and getting exhausted, or maybe showing up, but not showing up as ourselves. We don't take the spaciousness to actually be with ourselves. Everything is external and we lose touch with what is inside. We burn out.
For the ones who wear the invisibility cloak like a suit of armor, the shadow is that no one really gets to know or see who we truly are. When we do show up we don't feel heard or seen. Often because we are not speaking or showing who we actually are. We want to be heard and can't figure out why we aren't, then we our confidence gets hurt and we retreat even more deeply and go back into our cocoons. We come stagnant, and wonder what our purpose is.
Both shadows really come down to not knowing what our true essences are, or if we do, we are either in fear of sharing them, or over-share with people who are not our people, and then suddenly we feel alone or like we don't belong. But we ALL belong!
So the question becomes, do you know who you are? Do you know what your essences are..and by essences I mean the parts of yourself that you were dropped on this planet with, the ways in which you are human, and those can be unique little things, that make us the amazing and interesting beings that we are. The "personality traits" that can be fluid. We all have more than one essence, and there are times and places, and heart and soul desires where we wish to show those to the world.
This is the quirky, the weird, or in some cases the painfully "normal" and mundane. Usually how we were as kids when we didn't know there were societal and cultural norms. Usually the things your parents and teachers told you were not for public consumption...those are you essences. And I would love to hear about your memories of those, and even better how you can now see those as gifts.
Some of my early memories and things I claim and own as gifts were my nicknames or things I would get in trouble for:
Motor Mouth
Oh my, I talked coming out of the womb. Thankfully my family did not subscribe to the "children should be seen and not heard" bit, because I talked, I always talked. Hence my gift for teaching, speaking, and sharing. And not really caring if anyone listened. The right people always do. AND its when I am not speaking that you need to worry.
I also always got in trouble for speaking truth, not to be a jerk, but even at a young age, to wake people up to what they were really capable of. And that is still an essence today, it is just that I can now discern when I am speaking from love, and when I am in the shadow of judgement.
And I loved to make up stories...OK back in those days, might have been lies. But I can tell a story, and that is a gift. The other gift and something my father always told me "you can't bullshit a bullshitter". I can smell BS, fakeness, cruelty and inauthenticity from a 10 mile radius, don't even try it with me. I will see it and I will call it out. That is my truthteller nature. These days though, I don't lie and I call people out with love.
And I never..as small as I was and still am, will ever let any one push me around or force me to do something I don't want to do (including getting into my head or energy field without my permission, and trust me people have tried because they think I need healed or some other version of their story of light and ascension that I do not subscribe to...run far away from the people who insist on getting in your energy field...also another article) , and I will not let anyone push my loved ones around. This however, with my small stature has gotten me into trouble many times. I don't care. That is an essence. That is my gift of sovereignty. The shadow is sometimes I stand up for people who want to stand up for themselves, or DON'T and would prefer I stay out of it. Can't help myself, if I see injustice I will do it anyway.
And then there is my rebel and wild child. I will save that for another day.
Enough about me. What I really want to know is about you. What do you think your essences are? Do you know?Are you showing them or hiding them? How can I help you discover them and shine a light on them, AND SHOW UP FULLY? I have a class coming up on this. And will be talking more deeply on this in my group. (Link below) But the key is looking at who you were as a kiddo before you started to hide and chose to wear the invisibility cloak.
As always, I am here for personal witnessing and reflection, just reach out.
Love and Light,
Dina