Waiting for Illumination
For weeks now I have been inviting you to take a pause, reflect, allow yourself to be steeped in the unknown, in the darkness of this time of year. In preparation, for the light and the illumination that comes on the Winter Solstice. There is a reason why I celebrate the Solstice with such joy. It is because this space and time I take in the unknown, is very uncomfortable for me, and yet I do it anyway. I do it because I know without the pause, and the excavation into what is longer working, in my personal, spiritual, emotional, physical and work life is necessary in order to make space for what is ready to be birthed. That doesn't mean it's easy, it just means it's necessary.
Often, when we willingly embark upon this journey different feelings comes up, and we are invited to be with them. I often get a little depressed (for me), inspiration seems far, far away, which is even more difficult for me, as it is my sacred assignment to inspire myself and others. So when I am not feeling inspired, my ego likes to tell me I will never have another inspirational idea again. Which of course, I know is not true. What I really know is when I allow this pause, I am making room for something probably bigger than I would ever dream possible, if I didn't allow this time, and/or keep cranking out ideas to the external world.
I actually have no problem living in a constant cycle of destroying and creating. If x doesn't work I detach from it and create y. But that can be exhausting, and it's also more of a summer energy. It's when I am in the winter energy of destroying, PAUSING to wait, and then creating the re-birth that is difficult for me. And for most of us. It is the fear that I will "let it all go" or all that is not working...which right now seems like a lot, and have nothing left. A complete and total rebirth and re-creation. I know that is not true, I know I have created a lot to celebrate, and to continue to nourish and somehow my soul is yearning for something new, something mythic, and YET at the same time something SIMPLE. And so I sit in the emptiness waiting for what that might look like, and what that could mean. I know its possible but my mind has not conceived it yet.
I ride a roller-coaster between wanting to change nothing and build upon what I have created and to create something brand new and exciting. But what if there is a sacred third? And I know there is, hence why I stay in this internal, reflective time, until the Solstice when things become illuminated, and they always do. And as a time to celebrate the letting go and the rebirth, the illumination with my community. It's why I adore the Solstice and celebrate it every year. I know there is an emergence into the light, that would not be possible if I didn't spend some time in the dark, despite its discomfort.
So love, are you willing to take this pause, to really SEE with fresh eyes, what wants to flow to and through you? Are you willing to surrender to and trust that voice that tells you to pause and wait before you act?
I would love to hear what is beginning to emerge for you, from this place of quiet and darkness.
And if you are here locally I would love to celebrate the Solstice with you, so we can reflect and illuminate for each other what wants to emerge, even if we can't put words, dates, goals, or tasks around our visions, just yet.
Love and Light,
Dina