Disappearing Acts
A few months ago I wrote about FOMO, you can read about Fear of Missing Outand how that puts us into overwhelm, but this week as I prepare to take my "creativity week" which is something I have added to my schedule every month so that I can be in creativity and strategy mode for personal and business visions, and after talking to women and noticing, there can also be a Fear of Disappearing. During my creativity week, there are no meetings, no networking, no teaching or one on one coaching. Because I decided if I don't take that time I cannot nourish myself, I cannot nourish others, and I cannot bring my visions for life and business and offerings into form.
And I am doing some things so I can take some time off this summer, but still be accessible. It's a paradox. What I have noticed are there are women who go to ALL the THINGs, all the time. And then wonder why they don't have time for self-care, self-reflection, business strategy, and just being. A woman recently said to me she would do a particular thing for self-care when she could "find" the 90 minutes. We don't find time, we choose where to spend it. Maybe skipping that Coffee Chat is exactly what we need to nourish ourselves. We are told by the external world, and many business and marketing coaches, to not disappear, to stay top of mind, to be in as many places on-line and off as you possibly can.
But that is just not sustainable!
It's not sustainable for our energy systems, but it's also not sustainable for our businesses. If you don't take the time to reflect, re-evaluate what is working and what is not, or to create what it is you are actually offering, then we are constantly like hamsters on a wheel. If you never take the time for strategizing in your business, how will you grow? If that is your intent. If it's not, strategy is still useful in order to look at what is not working, where we are spending time, energy, and money where it doesn't make sense. Or we can look at how to streamline things so we are not working so HARD and so you can make your self-care, family and personal life a priority. Trust me, missing one networking meeting does not mean everyone is going to forget about you. If they do, are they your beloveds anyway? Not all the people, are our people.
I also know that going to "all the things" also comes from a place of not wanting to be alone and isolated. Trust me, I have been there. I have created entire businesses so I had a reason to go to networking events and not be alone and isolated. As you might imagine those businesses failed, because they were not coming from an energy of passion, just a fear of being alone. Now I crave the time I get to be reflective and creative. I need it like I need air to breathe. And then balance that with being social and external. It is why I use the Spring and Fall to look with a very discerning eye on where I am being, where I am not being, where I am leaking energy, and time, and begin to shed and release. I also look at what is working and what is not in my life and business. I am going to ask you to get intentional this week and do the same thing.
I often use the words, release what is no longer serving you. But I am not resonating as much with that language anymore. Energy moves in spirals and cycles, energy leaks even in places you are not neccesarily spending time, but that are "open-ended" or the things that are in the back of your mind taking up space, or groups and places that are hanging out in the ethers. I am going to ask you to gently close those leaks as well. What I am really asking you to look at is where and in what spaces are you feeling fed and nourished, or where and what spaces do you love to do the feeding and nourishing and being of service and that are filled with people who want to receive what you have to give? One think I have come to realize is I was doing a lot of feeding and nourishing in places that people didn't want what I have to give, and I also was not getting fed and nourished. So I have said or about to say bye-bye. And that is OK, it is with love that I let go and await the opening that releasing creates.
In these last few weeks I took a look at where I was spending (or not spending) time, energy, and resources and spreading myself too thin. I was not giving the amount of energy to any of them that I wanted to, it was fragmented rather than potent. So I consolidated a few groups so I could give some potent attention to one group, instead of fragmented attention to a bunch of them. And the people who really want to receive it came along, those that didn't closed some energetic leaks for me, and for themselves. Which is lovely. I closed other groups online where I was spending resources and it wasn't being received. Check.Done. I am leaving groups that are out there in the ethers, and focusing my energy where it wants to go. All parts of the process to NOT Disappear from where it counts, and be more present with less energy output. I am looking deeply at how I can both be fed and nourished so I can feed and nourish. So this week I am going to ask you to do a few things if you want to create some space for yourself and put your energy where it most wants to go, and where you receive energy back. Because where attention goes, energy flows. Put your attention and what most feeds your heart and soul desires.
1.) Get the giant to-do list out of your brain and on paper- do a brain dump and then discern what is really necessary. Let go of the rest. This will make so much space in your mind.
2.) Get real about where and with whom you are spending your time, energetic and financial resources. Both personally, and in business. Are you being fed and nourished in these places? Are you doing feeding and nourishing that makes your heart light up and in places where it's wanted? If not, let it go. Do not be afraid of disappearing, they may not be your people anyway, and this will open you up for your people to show up.
3.) This includes social media, begin the purge and plug the energy leaks of being in groups that you are no longer interested in.
4.) Purge and/or consolidate any groups (in-person and online) that maybe you own and moderate and may be more potent by serving from one place instead of many.
5.) If you are a business owner make time each week to strategize and look at what is working and what isn't. Create space monthly if you are a content or product creator to be in your magic, create what you are here to create, vision what you are here to vision and bring it into form. Even if that means not showing up in external places, again if those are your people they are not going to "forget" about you.
6.) Have a truth talk with yourself about all the places you spend your time, and really check in on your intentions for spending time in certain places and spaces. If you are showing up because of a fear of being alone, or getting to know yourself and doing your self-care and reflection...as an avoidance tactic. Then get real about that, gently. See if you can begin to make space for just being with yourself and how that feels. A few moments a day. Maybe 15. See how that does actually shift your energy so you can be more present when you do gather with your peeps. It will make a difference, trust me.
7.) Say no to things that do not feed your heart and soul desires. And start making dates with yourself to pause and reflect both on your personal desires and give yourself what you are craving and your business visions, and make the space to bring them into form.
I hope you take some time to do this, during the spring season, you truly will feel lighter, and more on purpose when you do. And you won't be forgotten, you will be unforgettable when you do show up in your power and presence.